His perfect will

Part 3:

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The idea of prophesy has been on my mind a lot. Not the, "this is the thunderous word of God come straight from heaven!!" but in the aspect of speaking truth in people's lives. Through the process of laying my body down as a living sacrifice and the growing boldness and advocacy within me it seems that God has been using that in me to speak truth to people around me. It is not necessarily that a person is in sin or that someone's theology is off, but rather just sitting with someone, where they are at, and being truthful in that situation.

I just had coffee with a great friend yesterday. She was completely set to marry this "amazing man." And, I agree, he is pretty great. But in the course of a couple weeks the three year relationship crumbled and she still doesn't know why. To her knowledge there was no cheating, no faith issues, debt or conflict.   I sat across the table with her and was honest. "That SUCKS. I am so sorry. That is awful and there really are no other words to say." I could see the relief in her eyes as she was thankful that I didn't give her a verse to meditate upon or a word of wisdom. Those things wouldn't have made her feel better. She just needed to know that she was not crazy, not overreacting, and that her grief and confusion was valid.  Maybe in a few weeks or months, depending upon HER process of grief, these verses could be incredibly helpful, encouraging and healing.

I don't believe that God causes pain and painful situations for his children. I don't believe that he causes this to push us grow or to test us. He mourns with us. He cries when babies die and when we cry. He rejoices when we rejoice. He does not rejoice because we are mourning.

With that being said, I DO believe that God works through painful situations, heartache, trial, chaos, and grief.  He might allow these things to happen but he WILL NOT let Satan win in this. God will not let us continue in this painful situation with NOTHING good to gain. Our choice lies in allowing ourselves to see the good, to learn, and to learn how to help others. This is an EXTREMELY DIFFICULT concept and kills me to say because I do not want to at times loosen my tight grip on my hurt enough to see anything good. It may take months and years even after the situation is resolved to see the possible good that came. It is not always "yeah, that was great" but could be "well I learned that I like to drink tea when I’m sad and will remember this when I have another bad day."

I now can see, if only for moments or heartbeats at a time, that God was always working in my pain and frustration. I might not have always felt him near. I might not have wanted him to be around…but he was ALWAYS there, and continues to be here.

God may not have caused me to not have children when I wanted, to lose a baby when I did, and to feel it as deeply as I had….but he did allow it and chose to work in it. He used my desire and love for writing to bring about something good. I was able to process my journey, to communicate with others, to help others -- like my friend -- who may not be in the same situation but the feelings and frustration are the same.

I believe this was God's will. He allowed this to happen, created within me a desire to write and a hidden boldness long before I knew I wanted to be a mom so that I might reach others and point them to Christ. 

I have learned a lot through this experience, most importantly: SPEAK THE TRUTH.

Whatever you are going through, however deeply you feel it today and every day, I’m sorry. That sucks. I have no cliques to offer, no inspirational verses about thankfulness and goodness. All I can say to you in this moment is: I am so very sorry. I have verses if you’d like to hear, when you are ready. But for right now maybe all you truly need is to hear that someone understands.

Maybe you aren’t ready today, but some day…how was God walking with you through pain? How did God create you prepared for this process of pain? What lessons, if any today, can you see that you learned? How have you been able to be an advocate and speak truth into another’s life?