Present and Thuds in the Night

A belated Five Minute Friday post.

The world is on fire. Hot and blazing. Burning. And so are we. 

Burning with anticipation.Expectation. Excitement. Worry. Fear. We are restless.

We rolled silverware together, with perfect burlap colored napkins and lace. We stamped perfect, beautiful programs with rounded edges and hearts. We oohed and aahed over her perfect white gown, the one that made me cry immediately when she was still unsure -- wanting to try others. But it was the One. 

And we wait now. For the visa to come in. Counting days. And we are down to weeks, days.
Every breath breathed is another spend apart. Love stretched by miles, oceans, and we wait.  And we wonder...will we eat with the silverware, the napkins; will we read those programs, will she wear that dress on the day they planned? And how must her world be shaking and burning. Dreams of this day unfurling into perfection strained. I can see the worry, carried between shoulder blades. And I want to help. We are helpless waiting...

And I will go home the piles of paperwork left on the desk. We wait too. For one phone call, to move into a house to start the home study, to start an adoption, to grow a family. We are electric. We can feel it in the air, we are so close. And I wonder...will we finally use the clothes we have so lovingly and longingly packed away, the books we have carefully guarded from childhood, the games we pushed to the back of the closet so long ago? Our world is burning. Helpless waiting...

So we sit. Mom and her two girls. We feel it, the heaviness of life and all that is unfolding. And we know it well. We start the fire. Sticks gathered in the backyard as the dog runs round in circles. Quiet. A still night and not a word. Then...

*thud* And we burst out into laughter! A marshmallow thrown in the night from daughter to mother seems to make all things right in the world. And so ensues the marshmallow fight. Thud. Thud thud. Thud. The silence of night and worry is broken by three grown women laughing until stomachs hurt and tears stream. 

Yes, there are worries. There are too many to count. Yes, the world is on fire. We are burning. And waiting. But in this moment, there are too many gifts to overlook. 

The world is on fire. And we start a fire. 

Warm fire cracking. Golden marshmallows squished with chocolate. Family. Sounds of laughter echoing through the night. And Thuds.