Foster Care Update!

Before the update…

I want to thank all of you who have been so wonderfully supportive, praying and even giving us things to use: bedding, sheets, toys, and clothes. We are grateful beyond words and cannot tell you how much this means to us. Thank you for partnering, really, with us as we live out the call God laid before us -- loving and caring for children who need it most.

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The update is that there is no update. We are still anxiously awaiting the clearance of our out-of-state background check. We don't know what the hold up is, no one does. Our licenser, Ann, is frustrated as well. She has been given little answers and little information as to what is causing the wait. We have done everything on our part and are just waiting for the wonderful state of Colorado to finish up on their end.

We whipped through the home study, the classes, the home safety check, fingerprinting and everything else, in record time, and have been at a stand still for almost three months. I know that somewhere in all this mess is a plan that God is cooking up and working out. And I can't help but wish that he would just speed it up a little bit. My patience is reaching its limit. When the calendar rolls through individual days it's easy for me to forget just how long it's been. But when I flip the page altogether…time sets in. We were certain we would have children placed with us in September, at least for respite care. Now we are working our way around the bend into the new year, on the cusp of winter, rather than the beginnings of autumn. People keep asking me what is happening. I'm glad they do. I'm thankful that others are thinking of us, praying for us. But it is all a bit disheartening to give the same information over and over again to the same people. Still waiting. Nothing new. One more piece of paperwork.

The cautious, or maybe the untrusting or less faithful, part of me begins to wonder if this really was the right thing to do. If we were really called to foster care. Maybe this isn't going to work out. We've been living here for nearly a year, I have not been working in order to be freed up to provide care for little ones, and maybe…maybe this isn't the plan. I feel guilty for thinking this, but I know I'm not alone. Everyone has been in a place where we just sit and wonder God, what are you doing? Am I in the right place? Did I miss a turn along the way?

And maybe he doesn't answer. And all we are left with is the calling we felt, the verses that led us, the hope we were rich in as we made changes and moved when he called. Now the joy and the excitement and the fresh promise of new and good has been replaced with silence and fear, doubts (if we are honest) and confusion.

And we have to remember. We have to sit in stillness, wait for him, and remember. We have to chose to cling to the things from what seems like a lifetime ago that were dripping with promise.

When shadows fall on us

We will not fear

We will remember

When darkness falls on us

We will not fear

We will remember

When all seems lost

When we're thrown and we're tossed

We remember the cost

We rest in Him

Shadow of the cross

: David Crowder Band

So we remember. In the darkness and quiet of night, we remember. We remember all the things , little things, seemingly insignificant things that God used -- messages and classes, and conversations and radio commercials -- he used to call us here, into this place, right now. We remember. We remember that his plan is bigger than ours. We remember we can only see a tiny bit.  And we remember that in the darkest nights even the smallest light shines brighter. We've been through some darker nights than this and managed to still see some light. So we can make it through this season of waiting. I feel like we have been waiting a lifetime. 

And I think, in my better moments, that there is a reason. That maybe there is a little boy or girl who needs us. And if we were to have children placed in our home immediately, we wouldn't be able to care for that special child. I trust in this. Just as I trust in the thought that had we had children when we wanted, we would not even consider to foster right now, today. We'd have a 6 year old and probably other littler ones. So...

There is a plan.

We will remember.

And we will continue to wait...