There are so many people I would LOVE to meet for coffee but we seem to be running around to different places, living in different states, or just trying to survive life coffee is the furthest thing from our minds.
But, if we met for coffee...
...I'd get an iced coffee with white chocolate. Because I refuse to believe it is snowing in April.
...If you are a girl...I'd tell you you look great. Because you always do, even if you don't feel it. And I would secretly eye you up and down, memorizing your style and maybe trying it myself later. Because I admire you.
...I'd tell you that I've been learning so much right now -- about myself, my marriage, family, and the journey God has for me. I'd tell you that I'm learning to love this adventure.
...I'd tell you I'm finding myself in a strange place. Still aching for children but finding peace and contentment in the most unlikely moments. Rejoicing openly and freely with friends who are expecting, and still quietly grieving when I'm alone.
...I'd tell you that I continue to struggle with jealousy or anger -- seeing these swollen bellies and pregnant moms, new babies home safe from the hospital. Wishing it were just as easy for me. I'd tell you that the hurtful comments sting again sometimes. But I'm learning to let them come and allow them go.
...I'd wonder, later, if I had said too much, been too honest. I'll be hard on myself at first but realize that we're friends and hope you give me grace, as I try to give you some as well.
...I'd tell you about all the new, exciting, and stressful things this year is bringing -- foster care, adoption (?), a new house (?)...who knows! And that if nothing else, infertility has taught me to find joy in the unexpected, because isn't everything unexpected in a way...and where else will we find joy?
...I'd tell you about my newest knitting conquests and anticipated projects. I'd try to get you to give knitting a shot, if you weren't a knitter already. Because it is my honest belief that knitting can save lives.
...I'd tell you a funny story -- about a miscommunication between Jason and I, or the time I tripped myself, or maybe about the keys locked in the car. I'd laugh loud and hard, until we were crying, because this crying laugh is my favorite part of meeting you for coffee.
...I'd be hoping to hear about you and your life, the wonderful and hard. And maybe you'd feel comfortable enough to share about a struggle. Maybe we can help each other?
...We'd wonder at the time...and gasp when we realized how long we've been sitting at this place. our coffee drinks long gone or cold/melted. I'd wish we had more time, but it flies by so easily, quickly. *sigh*
...I'd tell you I'll pray for you...and I will. And I'd tell you it was great to see you, because it was! Quite wonderful, actually.
...I'll immediately miss you and my heart will ache...until next time, because, of course, there will be a next time.
this made me cry! I miss you, friend- and our coffee dates, too!!!
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