Merry Christmas from the Land of Odd: Part One

I have wanted to write this post for the longest time, missed Christmas, but since there is no better time than the present…

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I pretty much love every season but Christmas has so many memories for me that my sister and I and my brother could spend an entire weekend – without sleep – laughing until our sides hurt about all our childhood stories:

“Remember the velvet dresses we would wear to the church Christmas program?? I thought I was so cool, but looking back I think I looked more like a British nanny.”

“And that one time that lady called our house by accident. She wished me a Merry Christmas, asked about my presents AND listened to my super detailed descriptions of everything I was given. When I told her Mom was doing your hair she said politely ‘Oh, honey, I think I have the wrong number.’ Then hung up!

We would spend Christmas Eve opening ONE present and watching “The Muppet Christmas Carol.” Then we would spend the night in the living room. My parents never lied to us about the “magic” of Christmas. Presents came from Mom and Dad, not from a creepy old man who would sneak into your house at night, eat your food, and watch you when you sleep. I never sat on the lap of a hairy, old man and told him what I wanted to Christmas. If there were cookies left out, Kristin, Alex and I would gladly eat them.   

One of my most favorite Christmas traditions is a more recent development. It started when we were little, continued with my brother then developed into a whole family affair then into a holiday tradition, one in which my husband eagerly participates as well!! We have, or rather, my mom, always been creative in this way. We dress up for our family Christmas card photo. Not how you would initially think. We DRESS UP…IN COSTUMES for our Christmas card. In order to help you understand this most recent tradition, I must begin…at the beginning.

It begins with a woman, a sewing machine, and a dream – to create the best costume in town!

When my sister and I were younger my mom would work tirelessly on our Halloween costumes for weeks on end. I have very vivid memories of Mom camping out at the kitchen table with her trusty sewing machine surrounded by fabric and random props. I can even hear, as I close my eyes, the sound of the machine whirring away into the night. I remember being called into the kitchen for fitting after fitting until finally it was finished. There, in all our glory, my sister and I would present these finished masterpieces to my dad who would ooo and ahh over my mom’s handiwork.

Our reign in the community costume contest at the mall began very early on. We won first and third place as, believe it or not…

Pumpkin & Scarecrow
(Kristin, Jenna)

Apparently, these were not yet standard Halloween costumes.

Once my mom discovered that feety pajamas could be dyed various colors and used for almost any costume requiring a full-body suit, there was no stopping her. My next two costumes featured these fashionable ensembles:

A lion and a lion tamer. I wish I had a picture of these costumes. How crazy is this: The duo, which featured one small child being wheeled around the mall in a CAGE … WON. Do that now and you might win a home visit from social services. Kristin was the tamer and she was dressed in animal print with a WHIP. I was the lion, dressed in brown feety pajamas with a mop for a mane. My "cage" was a red flyer wagon with a small crib turned upside-down. I have to admit, it was fun sitting in a wagon all night, even laying down, while my little sister pulled me around and collected our candy. Every once in a while I would get on my hands and knees, claw at the bars of my "cage" while making ferocious sounds: "Raaaaar, raar, raaaar!" 

And Kristin would have to keep me from escaping and devouring the onlookers.

The next year, which I don't have a picture of either, we were a bunny and a carrot. Not only did my sister most often appear as a vegetable, she was also orange. Mom was, and is, a smart cookie. Often in October while trick or treating there would be a nice thick layer of snow on the ground, or at least below freezing temperatures. All of our costumes were nice and cozy as well as fashionable and award-winners.  

Laurel and Hardy
(Jenna, Kristin)

I don’t know how or why but we also LOVED Laurel and Hardy movies. You know, the comedy duo from black and white films? They would always get each other laughing on screen, then we would be cracking up. So, it was only logical that we would dress up as this comedy team for Halloween. Yes, we dressed up as men for Halloween. No princess dresses for us! It was so good that my parents paid to have studio portraits taken. My sister, if I can recall correctly, had four pillows stuffed in her shirt. I just LOVE the way she would reach around her stuffing and clasp her tiny hands. Still cracks me up.

One of the most creative and surprising and unique and….favorite costumes was… 

Fly swatter and Fly
(Kristin, Jenna)

The pillow my mom made for my fly costume continued to be used for various reasons for several years. We affectionately referred to it as Jenna’s (or my) fly butt.

We weren’t really bothered by the pairing of our costumes in the past. It wasn’t really a problem. Most often when we were dressed up we were together – collecting candy from the neighbors and family friends, at the mall. A  bunny could be a bunny without a carrot and a carrot could be a carrot without a bunny. But this one was…well…particularly…difficult. 

You see, my sister and I were one grade apart and our school would have a Halloween parade. The kindergarden classes would start. Each class would walk through all the classrooms. Each classroom would follow the line and we all would snake through the entire school so each kid saw every other student’s costume. How in the world do you explain “fly and fly swatter” to second and third graders when the other half of your set couldn’t walk with you? I was asked if I was an alien. I was also asked if my sister was a spatula or a cheese grater. L.O.L. We were, however, a favorite at the mall that year! 

This was also the year that people started to purchase fancy manufactured costumes. Sadly, our reign at the mall came to an end. We were beat out by a movie popcorn girl and her soda cup brother. I saw the two of them waddle in, with their boxy and cuppy selves, and knew that a homemade costume couldn’t compete. I have to admit that I was a little jealous but thankfully my envious stares were well concealed behind my screen-spoon fly eyes.

During the last and oddest year of our costume competing, we did not have matching costumes.

Kristin was, you guessed it, a leprechaun on a mushroom! That’s right! Another food item. And I was a giraffe -- another animal! We competed at the local Domino’s costume contest. I remember I won a stuffed toy.



Leprechaun & Giraffe
(Kristin, Jenna) 



Later, when my mom had my brother to dress up, she again spent countless hours slaving over the sewing machine surrounded by a mountain of fabric and stuffing. His first costume was rather simple. We had it in mind from his birth. He was a super cute chunky baby. So we decided on a sumo wrestler costume. She made him a little diaper thing and a little sumo wrestler wig. I would post the pic but I’m sure he would stop talking to me. 

He was also an Indian riding a horse (his legs were the front legs of the horse) with a stuffed butt and back legs. Savy as she is, she reused this costume for the next year. He was a knight riding his stallion. My brother eventually won the battle that my sister and I never could. He was given a store bought costume: Darth Vader. He also won the battle for video games and a TV in his room. I don’t know how he did it! Must be his winning smile.